Their right over My duty.
One of the biggest problems doctors face is the conflict between your mind and your heart. I am sure everyone does have such moments but none as heartbreakingly critical or poignant as a doctor. During my internships too I had these dilemmas. Especially when facing a very poor patient, patients dangerously careless and ignorant about their healths , abusive husbands, violent patients, the list goes on....
It is during these times that one is compelled to decide between the heart and the mind. Anyway, this isn't a medicine related post or I would have put it up on the other blog, so I would not dwell into that aspect too much. The post is about my own personal realisation and acceptance albeit from this.
While reading about medical ethics in the US recently, I came across a seemingly simple 'law'. Yes folks, it is the law. It says, ' A competent patient has the right to refuse or choose their treatment'. Yes, it does seem pretty straight forward and obvious but the implications in a doctor's life would be significant. At least, in the initial years and especially someone from India. It is almost second nature for some of us to help someone in need of help, to try to shove in some sense in those too ignorant or in some cases even get angry at some bad personal choices they make. Believe me. Some may even go to the extent of doing what they think is good for the patient rather than what the patient wants. And it is not difficult to understand what makes them do so here in India such is the level of ignorance and myths surrounding health and diseases. But then looking at the American model, it is unethical on the highest level.
Coming out of the medical field now, let's try to apply it to our personal lives. How about when someone close to you makes choices that will hurt them, when they don't want you to help them and they hate you for not helping them, when you there is a misconception that is making them not want to talk to you. What would you do? What would you do when the choice is between their freedom to choose and your duty to help? I would not have thought about it twice before but now I somehow see a sense in this law. It does seem heartless somewhat. It does seem rigid. But that's how laws are supposed to be. And so now, I will try however much difficult it may seem at first to acknowledge what the person wants rather than what I would want. Not bother correcting mistakes or helping out if they don't want either. Let's see how it goes.
It is during these times that one is compelled to decide between the heart and the mind. Anyway, this isn't a medicine related post or I would have put it up on the other blog, so I would not dwell into that aspect too much. The post is about my own personal realisation and acceptance albeit from this.
While reading about medical ethics in the US recently, I came across a seemingly simple 'law'. Yes folks, it is the law. It says, ' A competent patient has the right to refuse or choose their treatment'. Yes, it does seem pretty straight forward and obvious but the implications in a doctor's life would be significant. At least, in the initial years and especially someone from India. It is almost second nature for some of us to help someone in need of help, to try to shove in some sense in those too ignorant or in some cases even get angry at some bad personal choices they make. Believe me. Some may even go to the extent of doing what they think is good for the patient rather than what the patient wants. And it is not difficult to understand what makes them do so here in India such is the level of ignorance and myths surrounding health and diseases. But then looking at the American model, it is unethical on the highest level.
Coming out of the medical field now, let's try to apply it to our personal lives. How about when someone close to you makes choices that will hurt them, when they don't want you to help them and they hate you for not helping them, when you there is a misconception that is making them not want to talk to you. What would you do? What would you do when the choice is between their freedom to choose and your duty to help? I would not have thought about it twice before but now I somehow see a sense in this law. It does seem heartless somewhat. It does seem rigid. But that's how laws are supposed to be. And so now, I will try however much difficult it may seem at first to acknowledge what the person wants rather than what I would want. Not bother correcting mistakes or helping out if they don't want either. Let's see how it goes.
Comments
I will try following it too :)
And don't even talk about the world 'advising' you on how to live, eat, sleep, walk, talk, not talk... everything. It gets so bloody irritating its not funny. If I had a rupee for everytime some obscure person told me it would do me good to loose weight, I'd be richer than Bill Gates and that's saying something!
Adi..You have made some interesting and valid points, I agree..Some sore topics came up :P but you took it from the totally opposite perspective..:)
It is another topic to discuss..
Was talking about when you are in a dilemma whether to help someone or not when you know you can... But I liked your comment..hehehe..:D
The last para caught my eye. I came across such situations many many times. Best eg. your friend is going around with a moron, and she's madly in love with him. He doesn't deserve her. And you gotta talk cautiously, when you make her understand what she's doing with her life.
You give the options after telling out your mind (heart in this case)..And do the best which would satisfy both of you. :)
Just try not to get emotional or personally involved :D
On the personal front..you can give suggestions without appearing too intrusive..after all the final decision is in the hands (head) of the doer..
In advertising,the client always wants his/her way (its mostly pathetic) and we (the agency) always push to deliver something superior for the betterment of the brand. But its so tough when ur boss gives in to the client, but we are still encouraged to fight.
One thing I've learnt, you cant argue on logic. So if someone doesnt agree with u, convince him with logic. Beyond that it's their choice.
But dont give up pranay! That is just WRONG.
I do give up too on and off, but I've realised when you give up, and loose that passion, there is nothing left. You will feel like shit!
So dont :)