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Too many things bouncing off the inside of my head and no one I can talk to, so I come to my ever faithful blog. I've been wanting a lot things lately. Why you ask? I really don't know. I guess it's this never ending quest of happiness. And you know what happens when I accidently get one? I am not happy. It's just too much. I guess I am gonna be one of those people whorun around here and there in search of that ever elusive goal- spiritual happiness. Yeah I know it sounds crazy. I used to laugh at them too. But life just has so many questions that have no answers. Atleast none that I know.
Seems like such a simple thing, happiness. Satisfaction. Contentment. But when there's so much of discontent in life, so many unanswered questions, it really doesn't leave any space for the above mentioned. Want so much to just be relaxed about life. But there's dissatisfaction everywhere. Everywhere. Oh hell, life is bad. And I haven't even had a heart break. That definitely would have killed me. When everyone leaves what you are left with is family. But this condition of mine is affecting my relation with them too. The frustration boils over and it's bad. They don't deserve it.
Wanna be in love. With life. With music. With dance. With anything and not get dissapointed. Is that asking for too much? Guess it is.

Comments

BD said…
Spiritual happiness...yes. I don't know how sitting alone, meditating and staying away from worldly pleasures brings happiness and peace. But one day I see myself doing it, the location being our very own 'himalayas'. Full spirutual style!

Maybe the ulterior reason is to stay away from people...

Btw, it was always the reverse...I was sounding like you in this post and you were being like a big brother, consoling and all that.Come on Pranay! Don't die before you are actually dead :D
10:12 PM
Pranay said…
Awww!!! That's so sweet.
That's true but I too am not actually out of this weird growing up phase you see and have a lot of problems of my own. That's why I could identify with your problems and can.
Don wanna die re wanna live bad and that's the problem. This is not how I want to live.
Anyways I wasn't talkin bout going to the Himalayas but to some spiritual leader some baba or something. It sounds real funny but maybe someone can lead me to real happiness. Although Had a good start today and got to know that in the new world the role of babas has been taken over by Self help books and planning to help myself through them. Although I used to laugh at people who read those too.
4:31 AM
CS said…
I happened on this blog and read through the last few posts and felt compelled to comment. You are just starting. I don't mean that in a condescending way. It's just there is a lesson I have to work my way around to over and over. Life is jam-packed with joys and sorrows, and that is the richness of it (in fact, I was just posting about that yesterday!). So I think it doesn't make sense to have spiritual happiness be your goal, but have the path itself be the goal. That way, as long as you are moving, it's all part of the experience and all worthwhile.
2:19 PM
Pranay said…
Hi csl, welcome to my blog.
I think you've made a wonderful point. It really is worth thinking about.
This is a game life plays with us. Still have to learn a lot.
Thanks.
10:49 PM
Priyankari said…
Hi Pranay, in everybody's life there comes a stage when u become reflective and life seems to be full of unanswerable questions...but just wait awhile and there will come a moment when you feel this life is the best part,and u'll wanna enjoy it fully. It often happens with me too. I guess these thoughts are features of such an age as we are passing through...

But never let the despair get the better of you, try to search for the happiness not only in spirituality but in all small things, try for a while and u'll see u'll get the habit of searching for positive points...So cheer up!!

Wish you a Happy New Year buddy!
4:44 AM
Has to be me said…
Try the spiritual path.....that does help & gives a lotta solutions.
Check http://artofliving.org or http://onenessuniversity.org & try to help urself!
Cheer up:)
2:01 AM
Keshi said…
Love often comes with disappointment attached to it...only when its Love for a human.

TC
Keshi.
9:07 PM
Pranay said…
@ priyankari- Thnx for the words. I hope I get over it and start liking life again.I know it's just a phase however bad.

@ has to be me- Thnx for dropping by and the links.

@ Keshi-Only if love wasn't so damn bad. ;)
10:54 AM
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