The Issue not touched..

Read an article in the T.O.I written by an American tourist about her experiences in Mumbai's discotheques. It was so utterly disgusting to read this truth about our country. It really is. She says although she had experienced much more sexually colored pick up lines in the U.S., she was not at all expecting the kind of behavior that was shown in our country. There was groping and pinching and touching going on in every discotheque that she visited. Guys just took it as a free for all kind of an opportunity. She says that in a country in which there is so much moral policing going on, kisses in movies looked down upon, she definitely didn't expect anything like this.
Now what do I say to this?
This brings me to one of the closest subjects to my heart. I've thought about this a lot. I've been angry about this a lot. But still I don't know what can be done about it.
This is one of the harshest realities in our country and one many refuse to accept. On my latest thinking session over this topic, I tried to figure out a few things.
Why are guys so damn desperate?
Why only guys not girls?
Why do they take this route for satisfaction?
Why does this happen in our country much much more than in the 'liberal' countries?
What can be done to stop it?

Ok, the first question seems relatively easy. Guys are so desperate coz they don't get any. Although that may be part of the answer, it's not the only thing. There are many other factors to be looked at. The image of women and sex in our society is partly responsible but I don't think it'd have been such a big problem had it only been that. I think we as a society are in a weird stage. We have our culture and traditions still I our minds and yet we are moving closer to a 'western', if I may say so, culture. So the guys who don't like their sisters talking about sex or being with guys are seeing other girls who do talk about sex and be with guys. So although they want to hold on to their 'virgin till we marry' culture, there's all sorts of sexual titillation available everywhere. There are scantily clad women and sexual images everywhere. These make this guy who believes in the traditional sort of living for his mother and sister look up to such women as an invitation, an invitation to a lifestyle where sex is freely available. This makes him want it more than what he'd have wanted if it would have been just Indian culture he'd have had to deal with. And then the fantasy creeps in, the fantasy about sex and worse still, about women. 'Where are these women? Are they really so hot?' This is done by the objectification the media. Women become that forbidden fruit that is just out of reach. And yes guys do look at them as nothing but 'sex objects'. They show skin, act sexy arouse you, but then, you can't have them. This makes them want them even more. Sadly they can't get to the women that actually do all this and thus move towards every other girl they see on the street considering her as one of their kind. Of course this easy sex does sometimes overpowers the reason of not getting any which is seen from the fact that there are many married men who indulge in such desperation.
Why only guys? I thought about this for a while. What is the big difference between men and women apart from the social restrictions? The only thing that I actually could think of is the fact that women can get pregnant and maybe that makes them not so interested… But that couldn't be the only reason, at least in this day and age. Well there's another big difference, men are made this way. Biologically that is. Men think about sex more times than women, across cultures and times. This I feel is due to the primeval structure of human society where men were supposed to pass their genes to as many children as they could and women were supposed to bear and take care of them. This is something we still see in animal life. The competition between males to mate with a female relates to the same thing. So this makes men the more sexually desperate sex and the reason why also there are more women shown as sex objects than men. Although I've seen women who droll over guys, look to them as sex objects and quite frankly can even put men to shame in this department. But the number is quite low. The other factor as we know is the culture. Women who show the slightest of inclination of this sort is looked down upon. Women are taught to be 'hidden' all the time. Even the most affluent of families can have 'pati parmeshwar' women. They are not allowed to 'see' any men in their life except for their husband. Of course what they don't know is all her male family member including her so called 'parmeshwar' drools over every short skirt that they see.
The big question- Why this route? It is similar to the point made in the first answer. The frustration is filled up to the brim inside and what they see are those women all around. It's like putting a hungry lion in a cage full of goats. They think of it as easy way for satisfaction. What they don't think however, and I don't know why, is their mothers and sisters will go through this too. Or maybe some do. But then there's another point, other people are still gonna do it, then why should I stop? My sister won't be any safer if I stop. Point. But can't they just feel what they must be going through and doesn't it make them feel even a little bit bad? And doesn't it make them sad about what even this girl might go through? Apparently not. The hunger takes over. Does the lion feel sad for the goats? Of course another thing about it is that it is relatively safe. No one comes to know. There's no harm because invariably women don't fight back. And even if they do, it's their word against mine. But most of the time nobody would come to know.
The next question again seems pretty simple. There are fewer cases like this because they get sex. Ok, that is a reason. But here too there are other points to be looked at. And the most important one in that is the position of women in society. It determines a lot. Women are half the human population for god's sake. But men here will still consider them as some far away object that is made for sex but you just can't get it. Women here are not seen as just another human being as they should be but a potential body. There if they want sex, they date women, get to know her a bit more and then both of them get sex. Here women are not considered beings capable of wanting sex but just something made to satisfy men. So if an American guy is attracted to a girl, he'll go ask her out and hope he will get in her bed someday. Now if an Indian guy (of the category that we are talking about) is attracted to a girl, he knows there's no way he can have sex with her so he'll just try to find an opportunity to satisfy himself. Women have been sexually repressed for to long and that has also made this whole fantasy that women are not regular human beings. Men somewhere in their hearts still do believe women are from some other planet. As soon as a girl reaches puberty she is transformed into this being and is no longer one of us. Hormonal changes to her body are not looked at as natural but sheer magic that fascinates and confound the best of us. This has largely to do with our culture.
About the solution, well, forgive me for being a bit pessimistic because I am going through a disillusioned phase. I think there's no single quick and effective solution. People say that strengthening the laws will do it. Maybe…It may help. But the real solution would be altering the mindset of people. Of course it seems very difficult and perhaps next to impossible. But this is the only thing that can really solve the problem. I think the responsibility lies with not only the law enforcers but each one of us. It must start with the childhood. Guys should be taught to respect women for what they are. Girls should be taught to be proud of their bodies and not ashamed of it. There should be a common society where men and women mingle in an equal sort of way, and not a male society and a female society. A women's sexuality should be considered as normal as a man's and they should be proud of it. The society as whole should be much more liberal about sex.
All this will go a long way to curb this behaviour. But alas, I am talking of changing a huge part of Indian culture here and that doesn't seem to be possible here. So this is a menace we will have to live with. But there has been a start. And hopefully it will continue.
Enough for today, more later..