Dialogue is overrated...
I know we have all heard discussing is the best way to solve mutual differences. All differences can be sorted out by dialogue. I think it's a farce. It's just a way devised to avoid people from resorting to violence. It can't actually solve anything.
Here's an example:
Person A: I think this is the right thing.
Person B: I think this is the right thing. (…referring to the opposite thing, of course.)
A: No you see this is the right thing because of this reason, this reason, this reason see there are so many things that prove that this is the right thing.
B: I don't think so. That isn't the right thing. What about this? And this? And this?
A: What are you saying? This is so clearly the right thing. Look at all these arguments…
B: No, I don't think so. I think my argument is more powerful.
A: I believe you are wrong. Please try to look at it from a neutral point of view.
B: No, you try to look at it from the neutral point of view. I am looking at it from the right point of view.
What do you think will be the end of this argument?
Does it matter if one of them is right or may be that both of them are wrong?
There is no end.
People will always look at things from their own point of view. Everyone has their own set of rights and wrongs that they judge everything against. Sometimes even if they have the same sets of rights and wrongs they can go on arguing about what's right and what's wrong depending upon the side from which they view it. This happens everywhere…from a domestic fight between a husband and wife to governments of two countries in a dispute.
I don't know what the real root of the problem is?
Maybe it's the Ego. Yes it is in many cases. It won't allow anyone to accept someone else's opinion c'mon… The fact that I am in an argument means I have to win it. Doesn't matter if I am wrong I'll just stick to disagreeing all of his points. Or I'll do one thing, every time he makes a valid point I’ll just change the topic to some point where I am right.
Then there's the real problem of not being able to look at things from a neutral point of view, let alone from the other person's point of view.
It's a very tricky thing. You know the same thing can look entirely different from different sides. It's like the six blind men trying to guess the shape of an elephant. Everyone was right in their own way but yet everyone was wrong. It's just not possible to tell who is more right or who is more wrong. Do what you can. Put all evidences in the world in front of such a person but still you won't be able to convince him as he will stick to his side. How many times have I heard this in an argument? Try as much as you want but I am not gonna change my stance. Arguing is useless with such people. It doesn't matter what arguments you put forward they have made up their mind of not changing. Your argument will just be white noise.
Sometimes there's that thing that puts all the efforts put into the creation of languages to shame…miscommunication.
The two of them might be saying the same thing but still end up fighting. Ok, the right solution to this might be a clear discussion. But nobody does that today. All a discussion will lead to is a bigger issue. Look at the Aamir-Gujarat issue.
All three reasons are kinda similar but yet slightly different.
I've run out of probable reasons but am sure there are more. I have lost hope of solving a matter by discussion. People will always have their opinions and no amount of discussing can change them…
UNLESS….you use things that are away from the issue like emotional blackmail, or you are so good an orator that you brainwash your listeners or maybe sometimes if you bombard them with your side all the time. But then it doesn't matter which side you are from, right or wrong.
And that is wrong.
Here's an example:
Person A: I think this is the right thing.
Person B: I think this is the right thing. (…referring to the opposite thing, of course.)
A: No you see this is the right thing because of this reason, this reason, this reason see there are so many things that prove that this is the right thing.
B: I don't think so. That isn't the right thing. What about this? And this? And this?
A: What are you saying? This is so clearly the right thing. Look at all these arguments…
B: No, I don't think so. I think my argument is more powerful.
A: I believe you are wrong. Please try to look at it from a neutral point of view.
B: No, you try to look at it from the neutral point of view. I am looking at it from the right point of view.
What do you think will be the end of this argument?
Does it matter if one of them is right or may be that both of them are wrong?
There is no end.
People will always look at things from their own point of view. Everyone has their own set of rights and wrongs that they judge everything against. Sometimes even if they have the same sets of rights and wrongs they can go on arguing about what's right and what's wrong depending upon the side from which they view it. This happens everywhere…from a domestic fight between a husband and wife to governments of two countries in a dispute.
I don't know what the real root of the problem is?
Maybe it's the Ego. Yes it is in many cases. It won't allow anyone to accept someone else's opinion c'mon… The fact that I am in an argument means I have to win it. Doesn't matter if I am wrong I'll just stick to disagreeing all of his points. Or I'll do one thing, every time he makes a valid point I’ll just change the topic to some point where I am right.
Then there's the real problem of not being able to look at things from a neutral point of view, let alone from the other person's point of view.
It's a very tricky thing. You know the same thing can look entirely different from different sides. It's like the six blind men trying to guess the shape of an elephant. Everyone was right in their own way but yet everyone was wrong. It's just not possible to tell who is more right or who is more wrong. Do what you can. Put all evidences in the world in front of such a person but still you won't be able to convince him as he will stick to his side. How many times have I heard this in an argument? Try as much as you want but I am not gonna change my stance. Arguing is useless with such people. It doesn't matter what arguments you put forward they have made up their mind of not changing. Your argument will just be white noise.
Sometimes there's that thing that puts all the efforts put into the creation of languages to shame…miscommunication.
The two of them might be saying the same thing but still end up fighting. Ok, the right solution to this might be a clear discussion. But nobody does that today. All a discussion will lead to is a bigger issue. Look at the Aamir-Gujarat issue.
All three reasons are kinda similar but yet slightly different.
I've run out of probable reasons but am sure there are more. I have lost hope of solving a matter by discussion. People will always have their opinions and no amount of discussing can change them…
UNLESS….you use things that are away from the issue like emotional blackmail, or you are so good an orator that you brainwash your listeners or maybe sometimes if you bombard them with your side all the time. But then it doesn't matter which side you are from, right or wrong.
And that is wrong.
Comments
My God this is long sorry:)
Well, since you have concluded that dialogue doesnt work, I assume it is futile to argue with you. So let's fight! :p
Remember the mums and dadis convincing everyone that Ganesh was indeed drinking milk?
Everyone wants to be heard...its those weird ass kinds who just stick to their guns not listening to the other view point...encountered many and believe me...its exhausting to argue with them