Sorrow management

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I sit here bundled up,
waiting to be gobbled up,
by the world around me,
or the agony within me.

It really kills when I am feeling as bad as I am right now. It is such a horrible feeling. I think I don't have the strength to bear sorrow. Yes may be I don't. I don't know what to do about it. Whenever I feel this bad this thing comes over me. It is not just in the mind. It has physical effects too. My body temperature seems to rise, my head starts to feel heavy and as I checked I think my heart rate also goes down. The feeling is so strong that it more or less paralyses me. I am unable to do anything, let alone enjoy. It also is pretty obvious on my face as my mom was able to pick it up soon. I can't hide it. This power overpowers me into submission and I am helpless. I am cut out from the world and nothing going around really matters to me anymore. The stuff going on in my head doesn't let me get bothered by anything going around me. All I can do then is suffer the agony till it decides to pardon me. I usually try to manage it by trying to find a shoulder but even that is wrong. I should be able to take care of myself by my own.
I know this is bad. People all over the world stay alone and have to go through much more pain than I ever will be able to imagine but still they live,….many still enjoy. How strong are they! I salute them and hope to be able to take care of myself at least.
But frankly, I don't know how or what to do. I am just born weak it seems, unable to bear sorrow. Thinking about the life to come and the problems it will bring I can't help being scared of how I'll manage. If anyone can offer any help in this regard they are most welcome. Till then I'll sit alone doing what I can do…nothing.

All I can see ahead
is darkness.
Still I go on,
and hope,
it's a tunnel.

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